i had a dream a week ago…

in that dream, i was at an event, together with my besties.

i cant seem to remember who my besties were in that dream, but they were my besties.

during the event, we had to rush somewhere, and at that moment, i laid my eyes on you and i froze.

all i could think of is “run!” and i did run. i run as fast as i can, careful not to be seen by you, and my friends follow suit, not knowing what happened. they just run with me.

we went into an elevator and before the door shuts, there you were, in front of me, with your friends. you looked surprised, but that was expected.

our friends knews each other so they greet each other, but we, we could only stand there, staring at each other, you; wishing i could die right in front of you, and me; wishing i die right in front of you.

and there was moments of awkwardness. and the elevator got stuck.

and nobody dared to speak. i felt my face hot with stares from our friends.

dying to know what happened.

you broke the silence. but you start attacking me.

“havent heard from you for a long time. are you that busy?”

“yes, i am busy.” *silence*

“not even a text?”

” i was busy.”

“was.”

“what do you want from me?”

and the war starts.

and i yell, screamed.

your expression was the expression of betrayal, hate, dissapointment.

i was protecting myself.

not knowing i could hurt anyone in the process, i did.

i hurt you.

i am sorry i hurt you.

but those words are just unspoken words.

all inside my minds.

in this heated bickering, i could hear somebody calling my name.

“cha!!! cha!!!”

it was my father.yes, he just disturbed my emotional dream.

but in a sense, he actually saved me from that yelling and me screaming my lungs out.

that was all a dream.

but i wonder.

do you feel the same in reality?

i’m sorry i’m not good in relationships.

i’m just not ready.

there will be a day when i will be ready for it.

but i dont think its you.